Monthly Archives: May 2007

Methods of Resisting Pick-Up Artists, Advertising, and other Manipulators

Strategy 1:  Understand that PUA tactics and methodologies–and other forms of influence such as advertising–are designed to engage and play with your emotions.  The tactics are designed to elicit feelings of attraction, aversion, obligation, helplessness, fear, arousal, laughter, curiosity, and laughter.  Usually the tactics are verbal but can also be visual and kinesthetic.

Strategy 2:  Do not fight the flow of emotions, but rather observe your own emotions.  Develop on your own an ability to observe your own emotions and thought processes.  For this, I recommend practising zazen ( a form of meditation developed within Zen Buddhism) and centering prayer (also known as hesychasm, which is prayer without mental images or internal voicing, found within the Catholic and Orthodox Christian traditions.  Zazen can be practiced by anyone, atheist or theist, whereas centering prayer requires a theistic standpoint.  One or both of these methods will develop that part of yourself which is highly observing and neutral; some magicians and mystics call it the Watcher.  Developing the Watcher requires daily discipline but is well worth the effort.  Many meditation experts recommend that beginners start a meditation practice 20 minutes per session, twice daily.  The idea is to work up to 1 hour a day of meditation, but if you choose, you can work up to 2 or more hours if you have the motivation and desire.  This effort is worth it.  Meditation over a long period of time will give you much greater calm, tranquility, and control over your emotions.  It improves mental processes and increases clarity of thought–your greatest allies in decision-making. 

Strategy 3:  Let go of the need for approval and validation from other people; let go of the fear of disapproval, opprobrium, and ostracism.  Let go of the need for logic, emotion, consistancy, and fulfilling other people’s expectations.  You don’t have any “‘splaining” to do–to anyone.  Right here, right now, you are good enough as you are.  You have the right to exist as you are.  While human beings exist within a social matrix, our right to be occurs with or without social approval.  (This is the antidote to women’s fears of disapproval, lack of social status, and being punished by abandonment.)  This doesn’t mean that you can prey on people, or that you don’t have moral obligations to humanity; what it means is that don’t let anyone call you on the carpet for not dancing to their tune.

Strategy 4:  make decisions based on intellectual reasoning and immediate intuition–not emotions, fantasies, and feelings.  Intuition and emotion are different; I’ll explain the difference.  Intuitions are perceptions, often immediate, that arise without apparent logical thought or apparent cause–i.e., you can’t explain off the bat the reasoning for the perception, it’s just there.  Intuitions are usually sudden and usually don’t have emotional content to them, unless they’re intuitions about immanent physical danger–then they’re usually accompanied by an immediate burst of adrenaline, or a weird, unrelenting discomfort or edginess.  Emotions are physiologically-based biochemical reactions touched off by thought processes, fantasies, etc.  An emotion works like this:  Step 1)  a perception occurs, Step 2) a thought occurs as a reaction to this perception; it touches off a biochemical reaction in the brain, which is Step 3) emotion, which in turn (often) causes Step 4), an action or a reaction.  What I am proposing as Strategy 4 is this:  do not allow Step 3 to determine Step 4, ever, unless it’s an emergency. 

Am I advocating that women dump all emotion and become Vulcans?  No.  First of all, it’s not humanly possible, and secondly, it’s not humanly desirable.  Emotions are the spice of life, and provide a great deal of energy for the motivation, persistance, and drive of human endeavor.  Emotions are the best fuel for acting on your decisions.  Emotions, however, are the poorest basis for decisionmaking; utilized this way, they leave you extremely vulnerable and easily preyed on.

Strategy 5:  learn to observe the world around you and the behaviors of people in your vicinity.  (This task can be exacerbated if you’re depressed, have attention deficit disorder, or are dealing with psychological pain from childhood abuse and/or neglect.  Seeek independent therapeutic and/or medical help for these issues so that you can become a better observer.)  This is where the practice of zazen will help you immensely:  not only can you learn how to watch your own emotional states, you can also carry this discipline to watch the world around you.

Strategy 6:  learn to sit with discomfort rather than to run from it.  Realize that negative emotions won’t kill you, and that they are merely biochemical signals indicating that there’s something that needs to be fixed internally or externally.  And if the problem can’t be fixed, sit tight; the pain will pass.

Strategy 7:  WHILE CALM AND TRANQUIL, ask yourself what it is that you want to do with your life.  Do you want to make a difference in the world, effecting change?  Do you wish to save the biosphere and all life on earth?  Do you want to help wean humanity off of organized religion?  Do you wish to serve God or humanity or both?  Do you want to be a wife and mother?  Star athlete?  Stateswoman?  Doctor?  Engineer?  Theoretical physicist?  Firefighter?  You get the picture by now.  Find your one driving passion in life, what it is you truly wish to be and do; set up the conditions to fulfill that; then *DO IT*.  Keep in mind that if you have several goals in life, there’s a way to juggle them–for example, you *can* be a firefighter and a wife and mother–but it will require some doing, i.e., marrying the right partner who will be supportive of your goals and pulling half the load of the housework and childcare.  In other words, you need to focus your energies on setting up the right environment to support your goals.  (This is one of the big reasons why I favor extended families and communes rather than the nuclear family; nuclear families cannot frequently take a lot of environmental pounding before they disintegrate, whereas real extended families are nigh well indestructible if the family members stick together.  They are SO much more resistant to pressures.)  Focusing on your goal(s), setting the proper environment up, and *pursuing* your goals will give you something to live for and will make you THAT much less needy, vulnerable, and open to manipulation.  It is the aimless, not the driven, who are the primary targets of the manipulator.

OBSERVATION ON STRATEGY 7:  keep in mind that strategizing patriarchialists very much like to sabotage, sandbag, and run interference on women’s attempts to set up environmental conditions favorable to self-actualization, ostensibly in the name of protecting children, saving civilization, in the name of religion, etc.  Note the giant war on single mothers, the “father’s rights” movements, the war on Title IX,  the ongoing war on funding for domestic violence prevention and helping battered women, etc.  This interference is delibrate, not accidental, and is based on a cultural war ideology that requires everyone to participate in a patriarchal nuclear family whether they want to or not.  Women as a group are going to have to become simultaneously more fierce, creative, cunning, and active in demolishing this interference.  The logical end result of women’s efforts in this direction JUST MIGHT HAVE TO BE the creation of a female nation-state, similar to the concept of Israel or Kurdistan, or to the mobile all-female tribes of the Kurgans (offshoots of the Sarmatians and/or Scythians).\

Strategy 8:  After deciding your life’s work, examine your friendships and relationships to see if they nurture you in working towards these goals.  If your friendships and relationships are nurturing and sustaining, great!  Keep them!  But if you find yourself with roller-coaster emotions from someone’s behaviors towards you, STOP!  THINK!  PUAs, players, addicts of all varieties, and other types of mind gamers in general create a lot of drama, “excitement,” anger, and anguish in their victims.  You don’t know whether you’re coming or going; that’s the time to walk away.   It’s best if you use your cognitive processes to prevent getting that upset, but hey–we’re all human, sometimes we’ll fail.  Walking away is a good failsafe to make certain you’re not being toyed with or manipulated.  Be especially wary of people who attempt to bring you to the brink of real anger or anguish and then do things to reassure you or “calm you down.”  When you catch this, look the person very sternly in the eye, and coldly, calmly, and forcefully state, “Game over.”  THEN TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY, AND *KEEP* WALKING AWAY, NO MATTER WHAT.  Don’t let someone “reel you in” with radical, sudden tones in voices or behaviors.  That’s manipulative.

Expect that you may get silence, jeering, begging, mocking, angry putdowns, remorse, etc.  Ignore it–and keep on walking.  Firmly, violently cross this person off in your mind as an undesirable and NO ONE TO ASSOCIATE WITH.  You have the right to choose your own company. 

Strategy 9:  MAKE A FIRM RULE TO YOURSELF NOT TO GO TO BED WITH SOMEONE UNTIL A SET TIME PERIOD AND LEVEL OF INTERACTION/KNOWLEDGE BEFORE YOU ENGAGE IN SEX WITH SOMEONE.  People used to advocate waiting for 6 to 9 months before having sex with someone, but the problem with that is that many players have figured out ways around time limits such as those.  I recommend more of a two-to-three waiting period to get to know someone before bedding them. , if you’re willing to have premarital sex.  For myself, I decided no sex before marriage–we put rings on each others’ fingers before there’s sex.  And by the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong in lifelong celibacy.  If you’re married or already in a committed relationship of some variety, stay monogamous no matter what–even if the relationship is in trouble. 

 CAVEAT:  PLEASE DO NOT INTERPRET THIS STRATEGY AS MY ADVOCATING THAT YOU SHOULD STAY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, EVER.  This is exactly NOT what I mean.  The moment abuse enters a relationship, it’s no longer a bond of love, but a tyrrany–and tyrannies are to be overthrown, not endured.  No one should ever have to endure abuse or neglect.  When I advocate staying monogamous no matter what, even if the relationship is in trouble, I mean to stay faithful while the relationship still exists, in spite of its problems.  Simply put, don’t have sex with another person unless you break it off or divorce someone.  That’s not to say I advocate staying with someone as though they’re a ball and chain! 

Strategy 10:  When you set a boundary with someone, enforce it no matter what.  MAKE A DECISION PRIOR TO MEETING ANYONE ABOUT WHAT BOUNDARIES YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE, AND THEN STICK TO THEM.  THESE ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE TERMS.  Know your mind, know your terms, and refuse to buckle under or cave regardless of guilt-trips, threats, indifference, shaming, or anything else that feels or doesn’t feel like pressure.  If someone says, “Okay,” still stick to your boundaries.  No matter what anyone says, stick to those boundaries–regardless of whether their words are positive, negative, or neutral.

Strategy 11:  Do not allow yourself to be used as a “pivot” or “wingwoman.”  If any man requests that you help him find “dates” or “hot babes” or “girlfriends” or “potential mates,” etc., tell him NO and that you expect him to find his own partners.  Don’t praise someone’s abilities in bed, even to your girlfriends; there’s a chance that you might be unknowingly used by someone.  If you refuse to be someone’s matchmaker and he dumps you, castigates you, or breaks off contact with you, odds are excellent that you found a PUA or a player.  Also, don’t vouch for someone romantically unless they were a longtime boyfriend or husband.  Hold the attitude that your personal reference should be as valuable as 100 bricks of gold in Fort Knox–rare and costly.

Strategy 12:  Learn to be unimpressed when a man gives you that “thousand-yard stare” of primal attraction.  Many women are initially unprepared and become shy and disconcerted–then wildly aroused.  Understand that it’s a mirage–no indicator whatsoever that the man giving you this stare is of any help, use, value, or worth to you.  Period.  The attraction and sexuality are real, but that’s all it is.  Learn to avoid confusing this type of attention with anything of benefit to you.  (The reasoning behind this strategy is that many women grow up feeling ignored and devalued within  their own families, as girls all over the world are not valued or taken seriously as much as boys are.  Consequently, women are frequently very, very hungry for attention–especially from men, as they usually don’t get what they need from their fathers.  The PUA and player takes advantage of that.  Learn to view attention as your due, not to be bursting with joy when someone gives it to you.)

Strategy 13:  Disengage from the hedonistic philosophy in this culture.  Instead, cultivate a philosophy of personal heroism, honor, worth, and citizenship.  Be a heroine!  Be a philosopher!  Be an activist!  So what if you don’t have sex or a lot of sexual experiences?  So what if you’re not driving a Mercedes-Benz?  Refrain from chasing after pleasures, or from being scared of not ever having sex again or not having the “finer things in life.”  So what if you never get to “have a man??”  You can go down to the sexual toy store and get a battery-operated “jade stalk” that will do the job just as well.  Don’t let someone make you feel small for not doing what everyone else is doing in having sex.  You don’t need a jerk to have pleasures; ther is something to the idea of just watching a garden grow or watching the full moon rise over the meadow. 

Strategy 14:  Learn to recognize when you ARE being dominated, played, or treated poorly.  Believe it or not, a lot of the reason why women stick around, pick, or stay with jerks is that the women don’t recognize when a power imbalance occurs and what the methods are to create those power imbalances by PUAs, players, and other mind gamers.

Strategy 15:  When someone says something, give yourself time to think about what he or she just said–especially if it seemed rude, negative, critical, or of the left-handed compliment variety.  Keep silent–don’t say anything immediately, and think about the words used and the tone and non-verbal message used.  [Admittedly, this is a hard thing to do if you’ve got a defensive personality, which is why therapy, zazen, and centering prayer can all help in learning to observe rather than to immediately react.]  This gives you time to assess the words to find out what the intent is.  If the person keeps talking in order to elicit a response, i.e., “Whatssamatter–cat got your tongue,” or other things (positive or negative), keep silent.  Keep silent until you’ve figured out what you want to say or do.  Then say or do it, on your own timing–when you’re ready to.

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Next post will be Friday, May 25th or Saturday, May 26th—

Hey fellow bloggers,

 My next post will be this coming Friday or Saturday, where I’ll have new material.  However, I’ll be checking every day to moderate comments and respond to them.:) 

 In the meanwhile, feel free to bring up subjects you would like to see discussed on this blog that’s related to PUAism, advertising/persuasion, mind control, etc.  If there’s a topic you’d like to see specifically covered, I could try to whip out a quick little essay that’ll get the discussion going.:)

 See ya soon!:)

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On PUAs, Mind Control, and Patriarchy: Why Go After PUAism? (Part 1)

What is pick-up artistry?

The acronym “PUA” stands for “pick-up artist”; generally, it stands for any male who studies and practices the arts of attracting and seducing women for sex, romance, relationships, etc.  However, some PUAs are female (i.e., Heidi Fleiss the madam that Neil Strauss wrote about in his book “The Game”).

 Wikipedia offers the following definition:

“A pick up artist (PUA) is a term used in North America to describe a man who is skilled in meeting, attracting, and seducing women.  The term is largely associated with the seduction community.  The term ‘pickup artist’ generally denotes a man who employs a learned, structured approach to attracting women.  Men who are good at attracting women but are not associated with the seduction community are more commonly called ‘naturals’ or ‘players’.”

 Why is this such a bad thing?  People may ask me, “Scarred the Feminist Pit Bull, why go after these guys?  What have they done that’s so bad?”

Because unfortunately we live in a patriarchy, and what this means is that the “arts” of attraction and seduction in a patriarchy are *going to be laden with behavioral and mental controls and manipulations aimed at women that reduce agency [defined as acting and thinking in an independent and effective manner]  in the targeted women and reinforce patriarchal messages.*  Are there exceptions to this general definition?  Yes, there are, but it has been my observation that the exceptions prove the rule.  PUAism plays off of a *lot* of ingrained patriarchal conditioning that women get, and it positively rewards patriarchal thinking and behavior in men, *also* playing off a lot of *their* conditioning.

Because no one should have to live in a world where daughters, sisters, mothers, cousins, etc. could be targeted by one-person mind-control practitioners.

Because we already have enough sexually-transmitted diseases across the world.

Because we already suffer way too much social and mental control from governments, advertising, etc.:  why are we adding more?

Because conscious manipulation and deception is despicable and dishonorable.  Because human beings deserve the truth and deserve to be set free, not manipulated by people more interested in satisfying their genitals and power-mad egos instead of living an honorable and satisfying life. 

The more women allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated in the name of sex, romance, relationships, etc., the less viable we become as human beings.  Benjamin Franklin said, very wisely, “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”    Women typically do not fight as hard as we should in order to preserve our agency, independence, and freedom of thought:  we’re too afraid of pissing people off and losing their approval!  This has to stop.  And one of the best ways of stopping this is to reveal in detail the myriad ways that women are consciously and delibrately manipulated with anger, loss of approval, abandonment, etc. 

Girls frequently grow up in households that are hyper-protective of them; this actually contributes to their vulnerability and ignorance, thus making these same girls sitting ducks when they grow up to be women.  A better solution is to educate women and girls in manipulative and controlling power relations and methods, so that they become a lot more aware of what they’re actually dealing with.  It is a natural reaction to want to lock up your daughter, niece, cousin, etc. when studying the behavioral and mental controls that PUAs practice in order to elicit attraction to achieve a seduction.  It is also positively the wrong, wrong, *wrong* decision.   It is the *lack* of knowledge, *lack* of self-esteem, *lack* of critical thinking skills, and *lack* of will-power and agency that leaves women vulnerable to manipulation.  Sheltering and hiding women and girls doesn’t solve the problem; it greatly exacerbates it.

Well, what can we do about this problem?

 That’s what this blog is going to address.  Stay tuned.

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Discussion Rules

Here’s the deal:

Rule 1:  I own this blog.  What I say, goes.  I am supreme dictator here.  Period.

Rule 2:  My decisions are final.

Rule 3:  I will not post or allow material that I deem misogynistic, racist, homophobic, bigoted, rude, harassing, flaming, trolling, off the topic of a thread, manipulative, hostile to the intent of this blog or any of the threads on it, or otherwise annoying.  I don’t expect people to kiss my ass or any other asses,  or nod their heads up and down; in fact, quite the opposite–I expect on occasion some really knock-down, drag-out debates.  That’s fine.  However, what debates there are WILL serve the purpose of Point 4, which is–

Rule 4:  To analyze, critique, research, deconstruct, and fight mind control from a feminist perspective, whether it be subliminal persuasion and hypnosis such as Speed Seduction, behavioral control and manipulation (such as what is found at large in the mainstream patriarchal PUA community), advertising and mass marketing, political campaigns, cult programming, or mind-control experimentation and implementation by the military-industrial complex or the religio-political complex.  This also includes analyzing (declassified only!) psychological warfare, also known as psychological operations.  (FYI, you don’t have to be pacifist or exclusively into nonviolent philosophy:  military feminists are *very* welcome here.  Just be aware that there may be differences of opinion–and be respectful.  And in turn, I also expect the nonviolence advocates to *also* be respectful.)  You are responsible for reading all content on a thread prior to posting; if you don’t, you may get called on the carpet by me or others.  If you’re not with this program, you need to find another area of the blogosphere *quick.* 

Rule 5:  If I deem your comment inappropriate, you get warned once, and your comment will not be posted.  If I think it’s inappropriate twice, I boot you from the blog.  Period.  Life is too short–you will not get to waste my time or anyone else’s.  And yes, I do keep track of names and IP addresses, so you don’t want to play games here–no coming back under another alias if you’ve been banned.  Keep in mind that pissing off blog owners is a very good way to never be allowed to post again on their blogs. 

Rule 6:  Use a name–any name except for Anonymous–and keep that name.  That way, I can keep track of it.  If you want to change your name, run it by me first, please.  (If you suspect you’re being stalked, please let me know–that way, the appropriate authorities can be contacted.)  You will also be required to give a *VALID* e-mail address.   

Rule 7:  All comments will be moderated.  This rule may change as time goes on.

Rule 8:  BE RESPECTFUL.  POSTING ON THIS BLOG IS A PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT.

Rule 9:  IF YOU DON’T LIKE THESE RULES, GO JUMP IN THE LAKE.

 What people think of me is immaterial.  What gets accomplished here  and what is passed on to future generations in terms of freedom from control or harm *is what counts.*  I learned a long time ago that it’s okay to be the “bad guy.”  Approval means nothing when billions of human beings are in danger of being enslaved and having their lives snuffed out because their agency has been so sapped that they can’t do anything to save our planet.

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On PUAs, Mind Control, and Patriarchy: Why I Started This Blog (Introduction)

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets

And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes

Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

 

I should have been a pair of ragged claws

Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

 

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 

Smoothed by long fingers,

Asleep…tired…or it malingers,

Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.

Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,

Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?

But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,

Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,

I am no prophet–and here’s no great matter;

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,

And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,

And in short, I was afraid.

 

“The Love-Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,”

T.S. Eliot

This blog is dedicated to all those who are terrified of being enslaved and who fear manipulation by those who have no good motive in mind.  Just remember, courage is not the absence of fear.  Courage is action in the very face of fear.

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We live in a world where one can be kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery by virtue of what is between one’s legs or by virtue of chromosomal makeup.  We live in a world where at one point there was a country, Afghanistan, where half the population was denied medical care and education by virtue of gender.  We live in a world where one area on earth (Serbia) in the 1990s decided to have rape camps dedicated to impregnating the opposing  population’s gender (Albanian and Croat women) in order to subjugate it.  We live in a world where a “father” (Alec Baldwin) can viciously eviscerate his pre-teen daughter with a voice message, utilizing a certain kind of cruelty that should only be reserved for pedophiles, war criminals, and serial rapists/murderers–and yet in the next day or so he offers an “explanation” that’s bought hook, line, and sinker by the media, and in the meanwhile tells an adoring public that he’s going to  help out “fathers” suffering from “parental alienation syndrome.”  He is defended by no less a character than Rosie O’Donnell, who is supposedly what the media considers a feminist icon

People, what’s wrong with this picture?

How can people in the year 2007 still, after nearly 40 years of feminist activism (including other countries!) commit this egegious oppression of women?

I can think of only one real reason.  Hang onto your hats, because this is scary.

Mind control

Yup, you heard me. 

Mind control.  Brainwashing.  Indoctrination.  Subliminal persuasion on a personal and/or political level, if you care to be more politic and circumspect about describing the hijacking of people’s mental processes.  There are many manifestations of mind control, and the New Patriarchy appears to be harnessing quite a bit of them–unconsciously–to achieve its own objectives, which is the reenslavement of women.  It isn’t just happening in the Western world, either:  an excellent case can be made that its primary manifestations are occuring in non-Western areas, although I don’t necessarily buy that, either.

It’s not paranoia if it really is the truth.

Allow me to explain how I reached this dark and eldritch conclusion. 

[DISCLAIMER]:  I’m not claiming, or even believing, that there is a vast, organized, conscious conspiracy to bring legal patriarchy back to the Western World.  What I am claiming is that patriarchal attitudes are making a huge comeback, and that certain people are applying mind-control methods as an application and an enforcement/reinforcement of those patriarchal attitudes–on the personal level, which means it’s automatically political.  The patriarchal attitudes are making a huge comeback because of the increasing physical uncertainty and danger of the world we’re living in, and also because the media and religio-political complex has really been doing their best to bring about its re-emergence.  The media–because it sells to a population of disenchanted, frightened people desperately clinging to or bringing back outmoded and destructive gender roles for a need for personal security in a world where citizens are being systematically disempowered within their own “democracies.”  The religio-political complex (Western and non-Western)–because of religious convictions, fear, uncertainty, and opportunity.  Put simply, people, we Westerners have become so conditioned and indoctrinated from the media, the religio-political complex, and other sources that we now think it’s OK to indoctrinate, brainwash, and mind- and behaviorally-control other people.  One of the premier arenas where this is playing out is the pick-up-artist (PUA) community and *its* behaviors, methodologies, and ideologies.

***********************************************

I was roaming the Net because I was looking for some information to safeguard myself against PUAs.  (PUAism has become something of a cottage industry, where men are taught to control and manipulate women through verbal and non-verbal means–sometimes for romance, more often than not for sex.  Most PUAs believe that in order to attract women and to “get” them, the male has to be the Alpha Male–i.e., the dominator of the situation and the woman he’s trying to attract.  Needless to say, this mindset is ALL about patriarchy.)  I stumbled onto a feminist blog where the blogger, Thinking Girl, had posted a link to an article describing PUAs in action, and had added her own feminist commentary on the situation.  Needless to say, she was horrified and disgusted–and rightfully so!  I will post the link here:

 http://thinkinggirl.wordpress.com/2007/01/29/professional-pick-up-artists-run-woman-tricking-business-to-help-guys-get-laid

After reading this article and post, be certain to click on the “Comments” section.

My advice is to read this entire thread from beginning to end when you get the chance.  You will witness, firsthand, what kicked me into action on *this* blog.

This link changed my life.  For the first time, I saw a feminist doing actual battle with PUAism.  I read through the thread, and I was horrified at the amount of flak she was getting from PUAs who slagging her, sneering at her and the other women on the thread, playing their stupid word games, and generally trying to spread their nasty little philosophy all over the thread.  I got disgusted…and I got coldly enraged.  You see, I have memories of my own…and I’m tired of predators getting away with garbage.  I made my first post on the thread based on my own experiences; it’s dated March 27th of 2007, here’s a portion of it: 

 

First off, I would like to enter this discussion by thanking you greatly for blogging on this little-talked-about yet very cruel phenomenon of pick-up-artistry and how it burns women within a patriarchal context. I myself have been preyed on by pick-up-artists and players, and the experience was mind and heart-shattering. I almost suicided once because I made the mistake of falling in love with someone who was out to get women to fall in love with him, just to shatter their hearts. Words fail in expressing the depth of his lack of conscience and callousness. After getting severely burned, I started going to a website that he had talked about–a website that his buddy was running. I found out that his friend had advertised his predator friend’s exploits in emotionally hacking women to pieces. Weirdly, the website seemed to alternate between trying to shame and embarass the predator into good behavior and patting him on the back and winking at him. I was horrified–quite possibly more at the ambiguity and the fence-straddling than I would have been at an honestly misogynist position.

I’m not going to go into great details of the giant mind game; as it is, I’m sure some butthead will argue or think that I deserved what I got. If there is such a person here, I only wish it were humanly possible for people to access others’ memories; you would be able to see how often I kept visualizing my hand going around a .45 or a shotgun to put in my mouth and my finger or toe pulling the trigger, or getting on the roof of the tallest building in town and throwing myself off, watching my own body cartwheel around and around just before it hit the pavement…You would have seen the looks of consternation and horror on the face of my therapists when I would break down and shriek in therapy…And you would have seen the anguish of my supervisor and friends as they tried to pull me from the grave. Even now I’m starting to weep, because I can feel that black maelstrom trying to suck me down even now. Not all women use “ineffectual” methods to attempt suicide; I got myself immediately into therapy when I started having the ideation because I knew that if I attempted suicide, I would have succeeded. If anyone thinks patriarchy is harmless or doesn’t exist, they haven’t checked the body count, female *and* male–or they just want to look the other way. Thinking Girl, I want to thank you for having the guts to stick to your guns. If the pick-up-artist men don’t like it, they should stay off the blog then. If people don’t think feminism has a valid premise–if they really don’t think men oppress women and want to hide from that ugly, nasty truth–then they should quit trying to crash discussions by feminists and leave us the hell alone! Feminist viewpoints are increasingly demonized and silenced throughout mainstream society, a society that paradoxically accuses us of enforcing censorship! I don’t see feminist viewpoints represented on the “PUA” websites. Why should we coddle them? We owe you *nothing.*

 

(I am in the process of figuring out that I’ve been burned by at least one PUA and by another individual who was either a PUA or a “cyber-like” phone predator who meets women over phone chatlines.)

 And I wasn’t done.  In the same post, after pointing out something to one of the moral and ethical posters, I had *this* to say to the thread at large:

People:
I’ve gone to the pick-up-artist websites, and I’ve started to educate/harden myself against these tactics. Best yet, I’m choosing to remain celibate until I get married; and you better well believe that any man I get involved with had *better* be a genuinely nice guy–or he gets shown the door. Period, stop, end of discussion. At 44 years of age, I’ve been preyed on by the best–and I’m thoroughly, absolutely, sickeningly fed up and enraged about having the hard truths of my experiences denied, shrugged off, dismissed, rationalized away, or minimized. Patriarchy fucking sucks. There is one hell of a lot of a sense of male entitlement to predation out there, and quite frankly it is starting to get me truly volcanically angry. I’m not the only woman who’s getting ferociously fed up, and believe you me, there is a backlash brewing that will make the late 60s-70s look like paradise for chauvinists. What galls me is that many men don’t grasp the fact that the same entitlement mentality that makes it “OK” for them to lie to women for sexual purposes is precisely the same mentality that fueled Serbian rape camps under Milosevic and fueled the Taliban denial of basic medical care to women in Afghanistan. The entitlement mentality is this: a) I’m a man, and therefore it’s my destiny (manifest, biological, religious–pick your rationalization) to control and to *be* in control of others and situations, and therefore b) as a man, I’m entitled to control women by any means necessary–deceptive or violent, and c) “you women” had better go along with the program, because d) deep down inside, that’s “really what you want, isn’t it”?…

Well, I’m telling it on the mountain, and I’m shouting it from the rooftops–this isn’t what *I* fucking want, and I’d *RATHER DIE* than than give any man control over me ever again, simply because of what his genes are and what’s between his legs. To borrow the JDL slogan, “Never Again.” And I *know* I’m not the only woman out there who feels the same way. And kudos to you, Thinking Girl, for having the spine and the guts to stand up and resist.

I meant what I said, *then*; I mean what I say, *now*.   Watching the PUAs trying to mentally gang-rape the thread turned me into a dedicated enemy of PUAism.  It was then that I realized that the New Patriarchy was and is emerging–and that I owed it to our daughters and our daughters’ daughters and every future generation of women on earth to fight this mind-control monstrosity.  Because that’s what it is:  mind and behavioral control taught on the personal level.  Generations of media, mass marketing, advertising, and mind-manipulation by the government and ruling elites has finally brought mind control out of the shadows and into the personal lives of many average Western people.  Also, if you closely read the above-linked thread on Thinking Girl’s blog, you will see that at one point us feminists made the connection that PUAism and Men’s Rights Actists (MRAs) are closely–although not always–linked.  Therefore, to study PUAism will have definite implications for the combatting of the New Patriarchy.  

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About This Blog

This is a blog dedicated to promulgating feminism–my version of it.

 There are many different kinds of feminism.  I’m not sure I fit into any specific catagory of it, although I think the closest fits may be militant radical feminism and Christian feminism, both of which I heavily identify with.  At any rate, these are my beliefs–and the beliefs I’m going to talk about on the blog.

Belief 1:  Women all over the world are oppressed and living in a system called patriarchy.  Patriarchy is a system that has created and enforced an unnecessarily hierarchichal system of power relations where men hold more power than women, the industrialized nations dominate and control the developing and undeveloped nations, the rich oppress and victimize the poor through multinational corporations and other economic devices,, and Caucasians dominate People of Color.  This belief has been backed up and verified by many, many observers.  Patriarchy’s bastard children are racism, sexism, homophobia, and all the lovely prejudices used to oppress, silence, and dominate others.

Belief 2:  Mind control, modeling from other human beings, and indoctrination are the primary tools used to school people into patriarchal power relations.  In other words, from the time we are born until the time we die we are indoctrinated and trained–just like domestic animals!–into a system dictating just how the power relations are and what is “supposed to be.” 

Belief 3:  The secondary and tertiary tools used when the initial tools fail to achieve thorough subjugation are physical force and economic destruction–thus domestic violence, murder by an acquaintance/loved one, etc., is most often (but not always!) preceded by an attack upon the victim’s economic well-being–i.e., taking paychecks, demanding total control of the checkbook, insisting on being the beneficiary of a life insurance policy, isolating the victim, forbidding work outside of the house, etc.  This holds true in terms of individuals oppressing individuals.  If we are observing group-to-group oppression, i.e., Ku Klux Klansmen going after African-Americans, frequently the secondary tools used in oppression are economic, with violence becoming the tertiary tool.  This also holds up in terms of nations invading other nations–for example, the boycott of Iraq just prior to the Second Persian Gulf War invasion.  (When I use the terms primary, secondary, and tertiary, I’m referring strictly to the numerical sequence of the actions, not necessarily the most important or effective action.  However, my bias is that the primary actions–that of attacking the minds of the targets–are the most important in terms of effect.  Thwart the mind attacks, and the attackers are either forced to reveal a Neanderthal hand or go away.

Belief 4:  Patriarchy is an abomination to God.   I don’t care how many Biblical verses the Rightist Fundamentalists quote to suit their purposes:  patriarchy is an abomination and an offense to God.  One of these days, I’ll make an analysis of the Genesis account of Adam and Eve’s fall  and their subsequent exile from Eden, posted on this blog.  Suffice it to say that Yahweh never wanted this to be the state of affairs between men and women.  Yahweh God is a God of freedom in the Spirit, not a god who wants us to walk in the flesh.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendant, heirs according to the promise.  (Galatians 3: 28-29, New American Bible).  The initial radical spirit of Christianity–that Spirit that destroyed all barriers between God’s children–has been misrepresented, compromised, and undermined by state-sponsored Churchianity.  Christians need to reclaim it!

Belief 5:  The first step in combatting patriarchy is to examine the linguistic, subliminal, non-verbal, and spoken indoctrinations that spawn its worldview in us all.   This means examining all mass marketing and advertising, media programming, news, religious indoctrination, subliminal persuasion, male-female relations from cradle to grave, and other forms of brainwashing not mentioned here. 

 Belief 6:  This blog is specifically for acting on Belief 5

 Belief 7:  You don’t have to be Christian to benefit from or participate on this blog.  Atheists, agnostics, and people of all other religions and spiritualities are welcome to read and participate on this blog, provided that the participating party is of *GOOD WILL.*  

Belief 8:  Any and all feminists, feminist allies, and pro-feminists are welcome to the discussion  here–provided that you abide by the discussion rules.

 Belief 9:  Success is the *only* option.   

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