When strange men are approaching you, be extremely wary of the open-ended question. The open-ended question is a question that does not have a yes/no answer and requires thought and/or imagination to answer. The last thing I want to do is to advocate paranoia for my readers, but I very much urge caution and care when someone you’ve just met is asking you questions.
Open-ended questions from a pick-up artist (PUA) are designed not to get real answers from the woman he’s targeting but to elicit certain states in her, which he can then “anchor” (meaning, to associate them with himself) and recreate at earlier or later times. Neuro-linguistic programming is where this initially originated. I will refer you to this link at Wikipedia on anchoring:
Anchoring can be done in some basic ways: it can be done kinesthetically (meaning, by touch–frequently, a touch on the arm is the most commonly used), it can be done verbally, with praise (or negativity, if someone wants to be able to set up a negative emotion to conjure up at a later date), and it can be done with sight–such as a dazzling smile at something you’ve said.
Be aware that you can combine anchoring techniques: for example, after answering an open-ended question designed to elicit a desired response, the questioner (a PUA or possibly someone else who is using NLP) can touch you on the arm or elsewhere, say, “Great!” and with a dazzling smile. This is known as “stacking anchors,” and it’s damn effective unless you know **exactly** what you’re dealing with. Even if you’re aware, sometimes the anchors can be set up without you knowing it. I refer you to this link where a woman was conditioned into making tea for her husband anytime he wanted it. Note just how subtle the conditioning can get:
One of the people who came on one of my NLP training courses was particularly taken with the idea of anchoring. Shortly after the NLP training, one morning his wife offered to make him a cup of tea, and as she did so, he gently tapped the side of his cup with his ring. He repeated this the next few times she made him a cup of tea. After a while, all he had to do was tap the side of his cup subtly with his ring & she would spontaneously offer to get him a cup of tea!! Very Naughty use of NLP, Eh?! Just by creating a sensory representation (tapping the cup) that coincided with her making tea, he was soon able to use that representation as a trigger for what he wanted. He did eventually share his NLP anchoring experience with his wife and you can be sure he makes a lot more tea than she does now! [author: Adam Eason]
This link is from cached websites that Google took a snapshot of: I recommend looking at them. If you have a problem in accessing the information, contact me, and I’ll see what I can do.
The important thing to avoid is allowing yourself to go into states of ecstacy, euphoria, or pleasure when thinking about a new man you’ve just met. Habitual patterns of emotion or action is *precisely* what you want to look for. The tea-making was supposedly harmless, and the husband *might* have just wanted to find someone to practice anchoring on, although what he did to his wife was *damn* sexist. However, there is a way the wife could have cottoned onto what was going on previously to her husband *telling* her how he had anchored her.
Point 1: The wife could have stepped back and asked the very important question: “Why have I picked up this new habit of spontaneously offering him tea? What’s going on here?”
Point 2: The wife could have tried to sit down and remember the various times when she was serving tea to her husband–and try to pick out the common thread of what he was doing just previously to her serving the tea. This could be tough, however…
Point 3: The wife could have checked out what her internal state was previously to each time she served the tea. This is an easier and in some ways much more accurate way of gauging what was going on. She could watch out for compulsory feelings such as the urge to get him some tea. Urges are particularly easy to look out for. Watch your impulses; discover what they are and govern them! This may take a lot of effort…self-control can be a very hard thing to acquire; it’s worth it, however, as it puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life.
Tea-serving is harmless; being manipulated into the sack is a whole different animal.
Note how the husband didn’t even have to ask the wife an open-ended question!
However, a stranger is at a distinct disadvantage when dealing with you. There isn’t the huge catalog of positive and negative memories, states, and trust level that our friends and loved ones have to call on and induce. This makes a huge difference; this situation can be dealt with much more easily.
Avoid this: watch for associating feelings of sexuality, ecstacy, euphoria, and behavioral impulses with new men.
I don’t care how “different,” “unique,” or “special” they many appear from all the other men you’ve ever met. In fact, the more “different, unique, special,” or “standing out from the crowd,” a man seems to be, the more of a red flag this actually is. This is what PUAs strive for, to stand out in a woman’s memory, thoughts, or viewpoint as being separate and different from all the other men she’s ever met.
You do not have a basis for making a real decision for going to bed with a man until you’ve known him for years. Beware the open-ended question, women. It has led to one hell of a lot more deception and manipulation than any of us can imagine.
Let’s say you’ve already been bit by the euphoria/ecstasy bug, and you’re uncomfortable with how quickly this has developed. There is a way to get rid of this, or bring this under control: more on this the next time I post.