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Just a point of note: moving this weekend

Yeef, just when my job has almost devoured me, I’m adding a move on top of it.  Will wonders never cease? 

This weekend, I’m moving.  Fortunately, I don’t have a lot of stuff, which is really good.

Look for me to start blogging again in the next 1-2 weeks; in the meantime, I’m checking this blog daily for comments to be posted.

No, I haven’t given up blogging!  Unfortunately, blogging had to be put on hold due to the demands of working and moving.  But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t


Love, one very busy Scarred the Feminist Pit Bull

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Explanation and Pseudo-Whine: Getting Rich While Non-Blogging

Dear Readers,

Just wanted to ” ‘splain” my silence.   I’m currently working 12-hour shifts that are making my pocketbook rich while making this blog temporarily devoid of new posts.   The madness is continuing until nearly the end of August, when I should be able to resume semi-decent blogging and posting.  My bank account is going to love me, but my blog currrently is feeling ignored…so, probably the soonest new post that I’ll be able to put up is Monday the 20th.  Time will tell if I’ll even be able to do that on this date.  Ah, well, life is like that…

Please realize that while my blogging against manipulation may be delayed, I will not be silent much longer.  I’m still just as devoted to fighting patriarchal manipulation as ever, but work realities are what they are.  So please be patient with me, and stay tuned.  Hey, if nothing else, feel free to throw a few tomatoes at your computer screen and yell, “Up in front!”:)

I will, however, be back every day to check on comments at least once a day, so keep those responses coming.:)



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Be sure to check out the archives for May, June, and July for methods of resistance against PUAs

Welcome new readers!

I am pleased to announce that the readership on my blog is surely and steadily climbing.  I am VERY, VERY pleased with this! 

Be aware that this is a moderated blog.  Anything that gets posted in the “Comments” section must be approved by me first.  However, if you simply just want to ask a question or comment to me in private, just earmark your comment as *confidential* and I will treat it as such–unless it’s illegal, threatening, violates the discussion policy, or harassing.   Treat me with respect and I will guarantee respect in return. 

If you are new to this blog and are looking for ways of resisting mainstream patriarchal PUAism, **be sure** to check out past posts of May, June, and July.  Soon, it will be time to contribute even more methods of resistance, but what I have in there is *effective* if you use and practice it.:)

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The long-awaited debate thread: Atheism, Theism, Agnosticism, and Other Religions!

“My Kingdom is not of this world.”–Jesus Christ

“King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets?  I know you believe.”  Then Agrippa said to Paul, “You will soon persuade me to play the Christian.”  Paul replied, “I would pray to God that sooner or later not only you but all who listen to me today might become as I am except for these chains.” — The Apostle Paul as recorded in Acts 26: 27-29, New American Bible

“Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.”– Thomas Jefferson, 1787 letter to his nephew, according to the website

“Most Atheists want freedom of religion, but also believe that religion is a sham and a detrement to individual freedom. We also hold a great deal of anger towards religion’s attempt to influence politics and science.

To a believer, a non-believer is someone who chooses to live a life without a greater purpose. We are foolish not to live by the word and rules of God and even more so to question them. They see Atheists as trying to re-interpret the laws as anti-religious and re-write our religious history and heritige.

Only in a secular society can both sides seem to cooperate and endure friendships. The more society sways towards one side or the other, whether promoting religion or being hostile towards it, our differences and strong opinions come to the forefront and our ability to get along diminishes.”–From the website

“[3.45] When the angels said: O Marium, surely Allah gives you good news with a Word from Him (of one) whose name is the ‘. Messiah, Isa son of Marium, worthy of regard in this world and the hereafter and of those who are made near (to Allah).
[3.46] And he shall speak to the people when in the cradle and when of old age, and (he shall be) one of the good ones.
[3.47] She said: My Lord! when shall there be a son (born) to I me, and man has not touched me? He said: Even so, Allah creates what He pleases; when He has decreed a matter, He only says to it, Be, and it is.
[3.48] And He will teach him the Book and the wisdom and the Tavrat and the Injeel.
[3.49] And (make him) an apostle to the children of Israel: That I have come to you with a sign from your Lord, that I determine for you out of dust like the form of a bird, then I breathe into it and it becomes a bird with Allah’s permission and I heal the blind and the leprous, and bring the dead to life with Allah’s permission and I inform you of what you should eat and what you should store in your houses; most surely there is a sign in this for you, if you are believers.
[3.50] And a verifier of that which is before me of the Taurat and that I may allow you part of that which has been forbidden t you, and I have come to you with a sign from your Lord therefore be careful of (your duty to) Allah and obey me.

[3.51] Surely Allah is my Lord and your Lord, therefore serve Him; this is the right path.”  –The Quran, Surah 3, verses 45-51.


Okay, dear readers!  This thread is for civilized yet hard-hitting debate.  The idea is to have fun while also to put forth our views and be *persuasive.*  Let me establish a few ground rules here:

1) No name-calling

2) No personal vilification, ad hominem attacks, or use of threatening imagery in an attempt to intimidate your fellow debaters.  This means that you may attack the effects of religion, atheism or agnosticism upon people, but never the morals, goodwill, personhood, or intellect of your opponents.  This means that I’ll allow statements such as:

“Rejection of the substitutionary atonement of Christ endangers afterlives,” BUT NOT!–

“You’ll burn in hell, you atheist scum!”

Also, you may say:

“Religious thinking endangers intellectual and rational development,” NOT–

“You moronic Christers can’t think a damn.”

3) Non-logical/non-scientific arguments by definition must be permitted, but they must be *designated* as such–and if you don’t, don’t whine when others do so!:)

4)If you quote from sources, *cite* the sources–and be mindful of copyright law. 

5) The *best* way to approach this debate is to go in arguing for your position but to read and think with the realization that WE ALL SHARE A COMMON HUMANITY.  We are all members of Homo sapiens, and it is paramount that we keep this in mind.  Believe in the good will of the people who dissent from your belief/position!

Argue hard, have fun, make jokes, and reveal yourselvespersonal journeys are welcome here!  **Talk** about why you came to believe what you do…    


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It would appear I’m not the only one! Take note of Chris Lucas’ “Fighting Manipulation”!

It’s a wonderful thing to discover that other observers also agree with the observations that I’m making, i.e., that there has been a huge rise in deceit and manipulation within society, and with it a fall in its quality and fitness.  Chris Lucas is protesting **a lot** of what **I’M** protesting!  I offer you this link:  read and enjoy!

I will particularly refer you to his words at the end of this wonderful essay:

“Here we have highlighted some (but not all) of the issues concerning fitness-reducing manipulation in our world, the constraining of our choices. We can only make valid decisions if we are free to do so and have the information. Attempts to manipulate that freedom are always addressed to an unconscious level of our minds, but if we are aware we can counter them. Seeing through these social pressures requires experience, honesty and independence, the ability to see that we are important in ourselves and not just in relation to a fabricated social image, whether imposed by politicians, advertising agencies or media manipulators.

Truth is the most important aspect of making fit choices in our lives, yet it is the aspect of our society that has suffered most in recent years. Quantity of information does not however equal quality. We must sift away the dross and ask questions, gaining media literacy, about what has been suppressed and distorted if we are to have a chance to be free. But most of all we must clearly and unequivocally reject the culture of deceit, manipulation and bullying that threatens to engulf us – and those politicians and other people that promote it who try to claim legitimacy by stealth.”

It has been one of the very major premises of my blog that our society has become so inundated with deceit and manipulation from advertising, media, and political propaganda that we have now begun to practice widespread organized manipulation on the personal level, i.e., mainstream patriarchal PUAism.  We have become so enslaved and degraded as a society–and so used to being made pawns and patsies–that we now think nothing of manipulating others. 

Kudos to Chris Lucas for helping to fight the culture of manipulation!  While there is no mention of manipulation on the personal level in his article, I personally think he might agree that day-to-day society on the individual level has become immensely more manipulative than what it used to be, and I think he just might find merit in the idea that decades of unethical advertising, media spin, and political propaganda has degraded our character.

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A thread for discussing Elana Clift’s Thesis “Picking Up and Acting Out: Politics of Masculinity in the Seduction Community”

It is with great pleasure that I introduce the thread exclusively devoted to examining a unique thesis by Elana Clift, “Picking Up and Acting Out:  Politics of Masculinity in the Seduction Community.”  I will present the link to her thesis right here for personal convenience:

This thesis was done under the aegis of the Department of American Studies at the University of Texas in Austin, the “first academic study of the Seduction Community” (Clift, p.3, “Abstract”).  Elana has expressed an interest in dialoguing with people about her thesis, and I have decided to devote an entire thread–or maybe more!–to discussion!:) 

 I hereby open the discussion.  However, you are REQUIRED TO ABIDE BY THE RULES LISTED HERE, SO READ THEM:

There are two modifications  I’ll allow to these rules **specifically** on this thread **only.** **Because** this thread is devoted to discussing Elana’s thesis, I *will* allow PUA- and PUA-sympathizing commenters who have not been banned on either this blog or Thinking Girl’s blog to weigh in on this thesis, with comments either pro- or anti- its observations, premises, ideas, etc.  The second rule is that you must read the thesis and base your comments on its topics and ideas, although it is allowed to use the thesis contents as a springboard to other related ideas.  However, understand well that there will be no personal attacks, misogynist sentiments, anti-feminist screeds, or other mind games (distractions, smokescreens, etc.) played here.  This is a feminist blog dedicated to fighting manipulation–including that of mainstream patriarchal PUAism–and the discussion here WILL be limited to the ideas presented in Elana’s thesis; if you don’t like this, go elsewhere.  You will be warned ONLY ONCE before being permanently banned if you attempt to post a comment that violates these rules.  Be civil and focused or be gone.    You can always go back to your own blogs and websites and comment as nastily as you want to if you don’t feel like being civil, but abuse here will be ignored.  Deal with it or don’t.

I will always, fiercely oppose pick-up methodology based on patriarchy and/or manipulation.  However, does this mean I’m out to control other people’s sex lives?  Not at all!  **But** the purpose of my blog is to provide resources and ammunition to women and men seeking freedom from psychological and mental domination.  This is the only thread on this blog where I will allow mainstream patriarchal PUAs/PUA sympathizers a voice, but it will be opposing or supporting opinions or observations regarding the ideas in this thesis.  And it will be civil by my standards, or it will not be posted.  Period.

This will also be an invitation to PUAs who dissent from the patriarchal ideology and manipulative methodologies of the mainstream:   this is an opportunity for you to speak out on the thesis and on your ideas, provided they’re “on topic.”  While I am a Christian and am opposed on religious principles to premarital sex, I understand that not everyone is going to agree with me, and I would **much rather encourage the discussion of methods of attraction and approach based on honor, honesty, and equality** than silence such discussion based on my socially-perceived “asceticism.”  In other words, I’d rather  encourage the development of a PUA community based on principles of “don’t manipulate, don’t dominate” than be religiously legally correct.  ANYTHING that fights a climate of deceit, objectification and manipulation is **welcome** and **encouraged.   

As proof of my goodwill in this matter, I repeat here a comment that I posted on Thinking Girl’s second PUA thread, posted on July 3rd, 2007, 9;13 am: 

“I’m sort of at a loss because the last thing I want to do is give a phony feminist “imprimatur” to methods of PUA that don’t consciously enforce patriarchal gender roles, but I feel a need to acknowledge that it’s possible to create methods that aren’t manipulative and unexploitative, or at least try to get away from it. The problem, is, however, we live in a patriarchy. ALL **unexamined** sexual relations and initiation thereof are going to be contaminated with patriarchal programming. The question is, is it possible to have non-exploitative, non-patriarchal sexual relations in a society bathed in patriarchy? My feeling is that it’s *possible,* but that it takes a lot of thought.  However, one thing can be observed: if a method of attraction and approach can be designed or offered that: 1) doesn’t advocate using gender roles and stereotypes, or power imbalances to initiate and conduct sexual and romantic relations, 2) doesn’t encourage or allow exploitation and objectification–or allow viewing the other person as a “target,” 3) can be used by any person of any gender, and 4) doesn’t set out to addict other people to the approacher, I’m not going to have a problem with it. I can’t and won’t speak for other feminists, but I can speak for me–Scarred the Feminist Pit Bull. This isn’t to say that other feminists have to agree with me, because **I will ALWAYS** support my sisters:)) no matter what conclusions they come to about the problems of having sex in a patriarchy.”   

I said those words:  I **STAND** by these words.   So while I can’t give an “imprimatur” to non-exploitational, non-patriarchal pick-up methods, I can certainly grant opportunities on my blog for their discussion, and I most thoroughly encourage PUAs dissenting from the mainstream to emerge and comment on Elana’s thesis–and alternative methods.

And of course, the usual feminists, feminist allies, and pro-feminist people.:)  Let the discussion begin!:) 


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Other Little-Known, Overlooked, or Forgotten Tactics in Resisting Manipulation

I’m back, dear readers!  And feeling better than ever!:)  Sometimes the *best* thing we can do is take some time off and rest, recuperate, and rejuvenate to our heart’s content.


            Sometimes when researching and learning ways of resisting manipulation (such as the double-bind tactics or emotional blackmail that mainstream patriarchial PUAs will sometimes try to pull), it’s important to realize that there are old, proven, and tried methods of resistance that were already researched and developed.  It was called “assertiveness training,”and its primary developer and proponent was an enterprising psychologist by the name of Manuel J. Smith, the author of the ground-breaking book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.  This book was first published in 1975, truly an oldy-but-goody.:)  I will provide a link from the “h2g2” section of the BBC website on assertiveness training that mentions its primary proponents, Manuel J. Smith and Susan Jeffers:


           I want you to pay **special** attention to what Dr. Smith referred to as the “Bill of Assertive Rights.”  I trust that you’ve already looked at the link, but just to be helpful, I’m going to quote the Bill of Assertive Rights here again:

 The ‘Bill of Assertive Rights’ in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty reads as follows:

1.      You have the right to judge your own behaviour, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.

2.      You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behaviour.

3.      You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.

4.      You have the right to change your mind.

5.      You have the right to make mistakes – and be responsible for them.

6.      You have the right to say, ‘I don’t know’.

7.      You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.

8.      You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

9.      You have the right to say, ‘I don’t understand’.

10.   You have the right to say, ‘I don’t care’.  

Yes, people, you have these rights.  Take them!  As I’ve explained in another of my earlier posts on this blog, your worth as a person cannot be judged by others; you have the right to exist, and the right to your own personhood.  As a Christian, I will stand up for the fact that there is objective right and wrong; however, this does not mean that your worth as a person should be dependent on anyone else’s approval or goodwill.  Please understand that this “Bill of Assertive Rights” is not a license for predatory behavior, but rather a statement of what is in effect God-given rights to self-worth, self-determination, and free will.  God is the ultimate Judge, but no human has that right, only Him/Her…and with that in mind, let us merrily figure out ways that Dr. Smith’s manifesto can be used to protect ourselves against manipulators.:)

Let’s examine a PUA and his tactic from Neil Strauss’ book, The Game.  Strauss talks about a PUA by the moniker of “David X,” and relates this following story in his book:

…Every PUA had a specialty, and David X’s was harem management—

juggling relationships with multiple women without lying to them.  When

we walked into the dim sum restaurant, I was shocked by what I saw

waiting for me.  David X was quite possibly the ugliest PUA I’d ever

meet.  He made Ross Jeffries look like a Calvin Klein underwear model. 

He was immense, balding, and toadlike. , with warts covering his face and

the voice of a hundred thousand cigarette packs.  My meal with him was

like so many I’d had before.  Except the rules were always different.  His


I.                    Who cares what she thinks?

II.                 You are the most important person in this relationship.

His philosophy was to never lie to a female.  He prided himself on bedding women by trapping them with their own words [emphasis mine].  For example, on meeting a girl at a bar, he’d get her to say that she was spontaneous and didn’t have any rules; then, if she was reluctant to leave the bar with him, he’d say, “I thought you were spontaneous.  I thought you did what you wanted.”  The Game, pp. 145-146.


            I disliked leaving in the observations  about David X’s appearance, as I think this culture is way too obsessed with youth and beauty as it is, but I felt that for the integrity of presenting his methods and their effectiveness,  I felt bound to leave them in. 

            The point of all this is that “David X” is/was damn effective on playing on women’s feelings of obligation of “honoring her word” and “proving” herself.  He apparently was really good at manipulating women into attempting to demonstrate their own value as “spontaneous,” and then trapping them by their speech.  The antidote, dear readers, is to internalize the Bill of Assertive Rights and to apply them!

            For example, how could a woman apply the Bill of Assertive Rights as above? 

            She could, for example, apply Right Number 1.  She could believe and say the following:  “I am doing what I want and being spontaneous.  I’m saying goodbye.  Bye!”  Here, she’s being the final judge of her behavior, thoughts, and emotions—and taking responsibility for their application.

            She could assert Right Number 2.  “Uh, I’ve changed my mind.  Guess I’m not spontaneous after all, like I thought.  Have a good night.”  And then walk away.

            She could exercise Right Number 8:  “Hmm, yeah, I’m not being rational about being spontaneous and doing what I want, but—no.  Bye.”

            She could assert Right Number 10:  “You’re right, but I don’t care what you think of me:  I’m not leaving the bar with you.  Period.  Have a good night,” turning and walking away.

            Also, on the above link to the BBC article, you will find a number of tactics one can use to resist manipulation if someone is aggressively refusing no for an answer:  “Broken Record,” “Fogging,” “Negative Assertion,” and “DESC Scripting.”   If my memory serves me correctly, these methods are all in When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. 

            However, one thing must be said:  what is more important than these techniques is realizing wholeheartedly and without reserve that you HAVE THESE RIGHTS AS ENUMERATED in the “Bill of Assertive Rights,” and that you HAVE THE RIGHT to self-autonomy, to steer your own ship, and that no other human HAS ANY BUSINESS TRYING TO CO-OPT THESE RIGHTS.      People will do their level best to try to guilt-trip you, tear you down, or otherwise convince you that you have to answer to them, but this quite simply is not the truth.  It is NO ONE’S civil right to have sex with you in spite of your better judgement, to sell you things, or to otherwise try to get you to dance to his/her tune; you’re not depriving them of anything if you say NO.  You have that right.  Remind yourself frequently and often of this important fact.  

            Women in particular nowadays are on the receiving end of a lot of fear-mongering, bashing, and demonization.  I’ve seen all sorts of things aimed at feminists and women in general about how if we don’t kowtow to men, we’re all going to die as crazy old single women with umpteen cats.  This is a gross and usually very ineffective attempt at playing on women’s “fears”, because usually we see right through it. BUT.  Many social observers are commenting that girls and young women are especially prone to this sort of moronic manipulation, guilt-tripping, and emotional bullying; it needs to be exposed for what this is, so that the younger generation can take advantage of the experience of those who lived in a much more honest and open age.:)  Please understand that manipulation, carried to a certain degree, becomes verbal and emotional abuse, and check out this link on the abuse of young women:


            You will note that the age group that appears to be the most vulnerable to relational abuse is the 16-to-24-year-old set of girls and young women; my guess is that it is precisely this age group that is the most prone to being manipulated, particularly as obedience and compliance is often much more emphasized for girls than it is boys by parents.  As young women emerge from girlhood and enter the world as adults, frequently they haven’t learned to shake off the habit of habitual compliance to others’ wishes that is so ingrained in their childhood.

            Hmm, Stanley Milgram, anyone?

            I think I’ll blog on that next.:) Until next time, dear readers:Let’s put the CHOMP on patriarchy!:)


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